I think I let the people I’m with rule my life…
I’m not sure that’s a good thing…
I’m not sure that’s a good thing…
And when each adventure comes to a close another arises, much more exciting than the first.
My name’s Bekah. I have no hobbies and very little ambition. My lack of drive finds me sitting here, alone, writing this sad speech about my few friends and even fewer goals. I look in the mirror each day and think, “Wow, I could really be something.” Then I eat my cereal, sit in front of the TV and wait for work to begin.
Upon my arrival to work each day I sit and contemplate all the ways I could make a name for myself. I consider how I could become a famous actress or make my own movie… Then do absolutely, positively nothing about it.
Sometimes I wonder if I tried if I could really do some good. And I think back to all the times people told me how “special” I was… “If anyone could do it, oh it’d be her.”
I used to write a lot. I would write stories and depressing poems… I would write music and sing until I felt like I couldn’t breathe… I guess too many failed relationships caused me to obsess over things that didn’t matter and I stopped doing everything that gave me purpose in my life.
It’s really sad… Knowing I had so much potential and it all just flushed down the toilet along with my self-esteem. Oh well, what can one do when you get so sad you just can’t move or think.
I would love to know what others think of me. When they look on the outside, do I look strong? Do I look brave? Or do I just look like a girl who’s so lost she feels like there’s no way out…
So here I sit, imagining all the ways I could become amazing and talented and wonderful; but that’s all I’ll ever do, sit. Because without any drive, what’s this life worth anyway?…
“Goodnight future wife.”
“And goodnight love of my life.”
best way to end any conversation.
I am so grateful that I have the most incredible person in my life… everything she does just brightens my day… Thank you for being there for me; through my craziness, my breakdowns, and insane bouts of happiness. I love you and I can’t believe how incredibly lucky I really am…
Today was a wonderful day. Even though I got four hours of sleep I managed to get to work on time, get the fourth best parking spot in the whole lot, and have time to spare. I met some of the sweetest kids I’ve ever seen and someone even tried to tip me for being such a great cast member. All my friends were awesome and kind and hung out with me on break. I even got to talk to my Grammy. I learned the way to get 999,999 on Buzz Lightyear and now I just have to try it. My day was essentially perfect. Yet I was miserable. I don’t think words can describe how much I miss you. When you’re not here I feel like something’s missing. Perfect isn’t perfect if you’re not in it
You light up my life and the world around me. You make people happy, actually you make ME happy. You make me really happy… I’m counting down the days till I can be with you again… Every hour and minute and second is one closer to starting our life together. It’s miserable being apart but we have things to do and places to see… Maybe if you stopped being so perfect I wouldn’t miss you so much… But don’t stop, I’m not sure you could. Every memory floods back. All your mannerisms: the way you walk, talk, act, and that laugh… Your perfect laugh. Half the time I’m not even sure you actually think what I’m saying is funny, but then you start giggling and I know. Every moment away is another memory missed, but it’ll all be alright
I’m in love with you. Your laugh and smile. Your kind words. That gorgeous face… I love everything about you. I can’t wait for January, everything will finally be as it should. I’ll marry you soon, and be your little wifey. Yeah, I love you
Sometimes I try… To see how everything is so wrong. To see that I should do what everyone is telling me to… I try. And I listen and I look for ways to make sense of it all.
Then I try to imagine my life without you. But it doesn’t happen. You’re in every future plan and the major part of what I want my life to be. That’s how I know we’re meant to be
Those were the best few months of my life… But was I dreaming? Will I later awake to find that the best things in my life were only figments of my imagination?… That you were only there to show me what I could have?…
I don’t want some half ass life around people who don’t care about any of the things I do. I was meant to be so much more… But I always get in the way of my own road to happiness